In August, I had to tell my mother that I might be shapeshifting again. I don’t think she has yet grasped what it means. I do think that she senses the contours of my new shape now, many times.Read more
One incurable disease
As the sanghis who blow any trumpet,
And encroachers who spread any lie for a price,
Alone nurse their greed,
The genderqueer people are crying for their lives,
Like the children who cry for milk.Read more
We need to understand that gender and sexuality are different. Trans men can be attracted toward men and trans women can be attracted to and have relationships with women. Me being attracted to a transmasculine person doesn’t make me less of a man and my sexual orientation does not change my gender identity.Read more
As for androgyny, I no longer think it’s essential to being non-binary.
It is so tiring to see people demand androgyny of non-binary people.
I think they fetishize the ambiguity because it is so foreign to them. The transness, the androgyny, the Other.
Around two years ago, I had attended a two-hour long body positivity workshop organized by one of the most famous LGBTQ+ organizations, with just a half-hour slot to address trans bodies and positivity. The last thing I expected from this workshop was to leave fuming with anger, I could even feel the heat leave my skull!Read more
Who is the jury, the judge? Who decides what the right body is? The scales are always tipped in their favor anyway; the game is rigged, the results drawn. There’s no winning.Read more
Over time I realized that at first I was focusing more on how others see me and perceive my gender identity and my body. It made me more dysphoric and mentally and emotionally more vulnerable. I hated my body for being more feminine than masculine. I wanted the acceptance of others and wanted to be recognized as a genderqueer person. But later I realized that how I feel and how I see myself is more important than being recognized by others.Read more
I don’t want to sanitize myself
Every single time
Monitor your responses and update my mathematical models
But I have to
Just like my discovery of prosetry, I discovered non-binary as my identity. I’m aware that I’m not the first to combine prose and poetry nor am I the first non-binary person. I arrived at both independently: the former, occurred due to an indecisiveness in choosing one form. The latter is a longer story.Read more