Chrysalis

In August, I had to tell my mother that I might be shapeshifting again. I don’t think she has yet grasped what it means. I do think that she senses the contours of my new shape now, many times.

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Journey towards self-affirmation

Over time I realized that at first I was focusing more on how others see me and perceive my gender identity and my body. It made me more dysphoric and mentally and emotionally more vulnerable. I hated my body for being more feminine than masculine. I wanted the acceptance of others and wanted to be recognized as a genderqueer person. But later I realized that how I feel and how I see myself is more important than being recognized by others.

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